Yeah, another half inch and it’s out there for good.

Hey, hurry up with them bean- If you got the money to pay, I give you a plate of beans.

Mm-hmm.

That’s enough for me.

He ain’t hungry.

There.

Leave it here.

Relax, Chico, you’ll live longer.

Yeah, ’til tomorrow, anyway.

Listen to him, will ya?

There’s only one way to find out.

That ain’t hungry. That’s famine.

Usually happens when you cross a desert on the run.

Yeah, and whoever crosses a desert fast got somethin’ gnawin’ on his conscience, huh?

Right.

So, what’s on your conscience, huh?

You better check twice. He’s pretty dirty.

Hmm.

Lucky for you, mister, you’re just a starvin’ animal.

Yeah.

Ah, Señor… Take it easy, Max.

You gotta last another 12 hours.

You ain’t worth a cent dead.

He’ll make it ’til tomorrow.

Hey, can you imagine what he’s gonna look like when they hang him tomorrow?

He’ll be dangling like puppet.

Yeah.

Hey, you take it easy there, Chico.

You get all excited, you’re gonna bust a gut.

Feel almost human now, don’t ya?

Yeah.

You just take it easy there now, max.

Si, señor.

Vamos, hombre, let’s go. What’d you say?

Come on, get up.

You know, Sage, least you could do for a man who wants to die is to wish him a cross with his name on it.

You just give him your name, you’ll get one.

They call me Trinity.

Trinity? Mm-hmm.

Well, that’s… Right-hand of the devil.

Come on, move.

How much do I owe ya?

Uh, nada-nothing, on the house.

Thanks.

The beans weren’t much good, anyway.

Señor, they’re going to shoot you.

Shh. Hey, Trinity.

They say you got the fastest gun around.

Is that what they say? Yeah.

Geez.

Okay, Chico, suppose you tell us what happened, huh?

There was a gringo, Señor.

He want to make love to my mujer, so I push him away with a little knife.

A very little knife, señor.

Oh, but when I look into his black eyes, they turn white, and he falls down to the ground.

Bada-boom.

He must have hit his head.

Must’ve at that.

Yeah, I think so, too, señor.

Any witnesses?

No, only me. Think hard now, Chico.

You mean my wife and the knife, señor?

And me. Hah!

Oh, no, there was only this gringo, and he want to make love to my wife.

Yeah, I know, and you pushed him away with a very little knife.

Si, Señor.

Hah!

Clear out and leave me in peace!

We’ll go when we’re ready.

You’re the one that’s lookin’ for trouble now!

Look, can’t you see I’m busy?

So are we!

Only one way to let him know now.

Yeah, the hard way.

Go on, 90. Be good boys.

Sheriff! Go away.

Scat!

If you want that tin star to see the sun again, you better set our friend free.

He crawled into a woman’s bed.

She wanted him out, he didn’t get out.

They call that carnal violence.

He’s gonna have to go before the judge.

How do you expect the judge to see it straight?

That old bag was his wife, and she woulda stayed there, too, if the old man hadn’t a come in.

She was purrin’ sweet up until then.

Your friend chose the wrong bed.

The law is the law, and strange as it may seem to the likes of you, the law is gonna be respected.

Now, you got exactly one minute to split town.

This is the last warning, sheriff.

Let our friend out!

Boys, I have the impression we’re going to have to elect a new sheriff.

You wanna run, Jeff? Not a chance.

Hey, you! Stinkweed!

You mean me?

Yeah, I mean you, rag picker!

I think he means you.

Drop that holster!

Huh.

Now it’s your turn, Sheriff-drop it!

They’ll be stiff before they can draw.

What did I tell you? Madre Mia.

Who is he, Señor?

The left hand of the devil.

Never woulda believed it.

Who’s that? Oh, it’s a long story.

He’s up for ransom. You know how it is.

The Mexicans are always wrong.

What’s he have to say? Nothin’…

Self defense with witnesses to the fact.

Write him a pardon and send him home.

No, Señor Sheriff, it’s not true.

There were no peoples. It was only this gringo.

He want to… He want to make love-…

Oh, stop it.

He want to make love to my mujer, señor.

Here.

It’s a bad wound.

Lucky for him, the bullet plugged up the vein.

Give me a hand.

Anesthesia? Si, Señor.

Yeah.

Oh, that’s a very big knife.

No, very little. Here, have some more.

Here.

Another swig, hmm? Mm-hmm.

How’s the old lady? The same.

She’s always got something wrong with her.

Now, where the devil is it?

In New Orleans, runnin’ a whore house.

I was talkin’ about the bullet.

There it is.

Hmm.

Put your finger in it.

You gringos are over here with your burros.

That’s right. You make love to our señoras and want to sleep.

Good idea-go on to sleep.

Sweet dreams.

Tomorrow, you can take him back to his beloved mujer.

You’re still quick on the draw, I see.

That reminds me. Thanks for your help.

There were only three.

Yeah, for now, but let me tell ya.

They’ll be swarmin’ into this damn town.

You’d do better to get outta here before all the dudes in the west fall in to match guns.

Well, I’m not lookin’ for trouble.

Yeah, you never knew how to do anything else.

Smells like a distillery in here.

Who is he? My brother.

He’s just passin’ through.

He’s leavin’ tomorrow.

He looked and smelled like that, too, when he came here.

Had to use three pieces of soap to see the color of his skin.

So, young man, if you wanna shake my hand, take a bath first.

Don’t wanna catch no tetanus.

Ah, now what’s that?

How’d you end up like this?

Ah, there was somebody following me.

The owner of the star.

Mm-hmm.

Downright disgusting. Hey, gringo…

Two days after- two days after my escape from the penitentiary in Yuma, I saw somebody following me.

He wasn’t after me.

We were just going the same way, but I didn’t know that, and I shot him.

Found out later he was the new sheriff of this town, come to replace the one that was killed.

There was this here star in one of his pockets, so I took his place to wait for my men and head for California together.

I planned a couple of good hold-ups, but I bet you’ll manage to mess things up on me.

I don’t know how, but I’m sure you’ll do it.

Hmm.

This isn’t a jail, it’s a cesspool!

Which reminds me- while you were out of town, there was a real slaughter at the saloon.

The Major’s men just pounded two of those farmers.

And from now on, they’ll eat nothin’ but puddin’ ’cause they left their teeth on the bar room floor.

Hmm. Were they armed?

Those farmers don’t go around armed.

You know that, Sheriff. Come on, young fella.

Let’s get home and give yourself a bath and see what you look like.

Well… You get washed up, and tomorrow you leave. See ya later.

No, you’re not gonna see me later!

You sure you two fellas are brothers?

Yep.

Same mother. Oh.

I ain’t seen so much dirt since the overflow of the Pecos.

It’s the last piece!

From what I understand, there’s a lotta dirt in this town, too.

Well, if you’re referring to the Major’s men, he just won’t let up on those farmers.

He keeps breakin’ their bones, and they come back for more.

Hard as nails, them farmers.

Well, why don’t they fight back? Against their principles.

Strange folks from back East.

All they do, is, uh, work and pray, pray and work.

Pray and work is all they do.

What’s my brother doin’ about it?

Beans-that’s what he’s doin’ about it.

You know somethin’?

I’ve never seen such an unlucky sheriff in all my life.

When somethin’ happens, he’s someplace else, and vice versa.

He’s always been very unlucky. Yeah.

If I’d known you were gonna put on them rags, I wouldn’t have given you that last piece of soap.

Evening, Sheriff. Shut up.

What’s got into him? The usual nightly scolding.

The Major’s men? Yep.

Well, g’bye, young fella.

I’m gonna take my bones to bed.

In case I don’t see you again, uh, which is likely, good luck to ya, huh?

Listen, Major, I’m gettin’ a little weary of these punks of yours.

Either they let the farmers be, or I’ll have to take away their guns.

Why don’t you do it?

Yeah, how about that, Sheriff?

Hmm.

They’re good boys, Sheriff.

Hard workin’ cowhands need a little diversion when Saturday night rolls around.

Like squattin’ helpless farmers, huh?

Well, what do you expect?

If the farmers insist on provoking trouble, a few fists are gonna start flyin’.

It’s only human nature. Or, would you know about that?

Now, I heartily suggest that you go about your business and leave me and my men in peace.

Put it any way you want, Major-— this is the last warning for you and for your chicken rustlers.

What did you say?

Chicken rustlers.

Oh.

You have the strangest way of doin’ your job, Sheriff.

And let me tell you…

I don’t like it.

Listen, boys.

Come on, slug, pull out.

What the devil is the matter with you, Jeff?

This sheriff’s beginning to bother me.

He’s a bit too dull to appreciate my position in this town.

Well, he’ll learn the hard way.

They work like ants, but that don’t soften the Major none- he wants to hog up their whole valley for his horses.

What do you care? You’re not the sheriff.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

But if he stirs up enough fuss, the rangers will get here before my boys, Weasel and Timmy, can catch up with me.

Besides, on principle, I hate to see him win out.

Why?

Because two feet this side of the valley, he’s got the most beautiful pack of horses I ever seen. Unbranded.

Once he drives the farmers out and brings his herd in, what chance have I got to rustle ’em back out again?

So, give ’em a hand. Who, the Major?

The farmers.

Ah, it’s easier said than done.

Can’t even root up a-a hoot owl in this here town that’s willing to face the Major’s men.

And I can’t do it all alone.

Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

No.

A dollar a day. No.

And ammunition.

With room and board.

And you get ol’ Jonathan to cook and wait on ya.

Okay?

No.

Then get your carcass outta here and leave me be!

Hah, hah, hah!

Looks like they’re plannin’ to settle down.

That ain’t no moonlight camp they’re buildin’, Major.

Not if we persuade them differently.

Boys, show the brethren how to build a decent house.

That structure doesn’t strike me as being very sturdy.

This is time for work. We can play later.

Go on.

Welcome, Major. Are you sure?

We’re not given to lying, Major.

Only to shadin’ the truth.

If, by some dark miracle, I should vanish before your eyes, I sincerely doubt you’d feel any remorse.

We crave no such miracle, but only for a sense of dignity in our poverty.

Oh, there is nothin’ more aggravatin’ than a hypocrite.

Now, you came here in a wagon with a few rags and a lotta hope.

A lot of faith, Major.

Yes, and, by sheer coincidence, after a few months, more of your so-called brothers arrived.

And good ol’ faith forms a community, builds a house that could shelter an army, and, uh, fills the corrals with livestock.

Now, yours is certainly a very dignified and, uh, lucrative poverty.

It was wild cattle by God sent.

Which, however, you branded quickly enough.

And while my horses split their hooves grazing on rocks, your cows grow fat and shamelessly prolific like you.

We sought but a small square of land on which to live.

But this small square covers over 200,000 acres, my friend.

We ask only a small part of it. There’s land for all.

Bring your horses to graze here.

We will not resent their presence.

No, but they’d resent yours.

Now, I advise you to pack up your goods, your people, your faith, and your cows, and clear out of my valley.

We’ve come 2,000 miles. You can go another 2,000.

We have children, Major. Oh, I hate children.

Major, I’ve tried to appeal to your sentiments, but you force me now to remind you that we came to this valley before you.

I believe it was the Lord in one of his parables who said, “blessed are the last, “for they shall be the first.”

So, why should I hurry?

It is evil to be cynical. It’s practical.

May the lord forgive you. Well, I hope so, but I wouldn’t count on it very much.

Hah! Hey!

Yam, yam Rah, ha’“, hah’.!

Hah, hah!

Let this be a reminder, old man.

Either you leave this valley, or I’ll bury you in it.

The choice is yours.

Let’s go, boys!

Hah! Hah, hah, hah!

Yah, yah, yah! Hah, yah!

To work, brothers, to work!

Hold it!

Who are they? It’s Mezcal and his raiders, Major.

Once in a while, they rustle a few horses from us.

Well, that’s very interesting.

Welcome, brothers. Thank you, brother.

You forget that you are guests.

Why don’t you answer brother Tobias’ greeting?

He’s my brother.

Now, you give this poor brother something to eat, eh?

It doesn’t taste like anything. We have no other food to offer.

You did it on purpose. Yes? No, it’s not true, brother.

You make this mess so you don’t have to share it.

No, we’d share anything we can. Lies, liar! Quiet!

Shut up!

Next time, no fooling around.

I want good soup with garlic and mucho vino!

Vamonos.

You know what that old fool would say if he was in my place?

The ways of the Lord are many.

This is for the sheriff.

By the way, where is he? He went outta town.

I thought your brother said you were leavin’ town today!

The day ain’t over yet!

Hey, you wanna bet somethin’ is gonna happen now that he’s out of town?

Hey, I’m talkin’ to ya! You wanna bet?

Brother Tobias said, if there’s anything left over, we can get that nice bread. Oh, I wonder if they still have any of that bread.

I thought I told you to get out. Joe!

But we need these goods, sir. What you need is a lesson.

When I say, “out,” I mean out. No, wait, brother!

Joe! O-h, Joe!

You’ll pay for this on Judgment Day!

All right, but ’til that day, don’t show your faces around here. Is that clear?

Go on. Get back to your cow flops. Go on, scat!

Come on, Joe. Wake up.

Put him in a trough. That’ll wake him up.

Easy does it. Got a new sheriff.

Better mind your own business.

How’s that? Ask the Major.

Major Harrison denies us the right to make purchases in his store.

Oh?

Now, that ain’t right, is it? Oh, no.

That’s what I say. Be right back. Easy…

Who is he? I don’t know.

He’s wearing a star.

Hold it, there.

Give him what he asked for.

You’re kiddin’, I hope.

No.

Load it up on the wagon, and fast.

The Major ain’t gonna like this.

What were you sayin’ about the Major?

Hey, you.

Get him!

Hey.

About time someone took care of it.

Hey, what’s your name, Deputy?

Hey, you gonna stay on as sheriff?

He don’t talk much, that’s for sure.

Hey, Deputy!

Hey, ain’t you gonna stop and talk a minute?

Here, there’s one jack too many.

No, here, there’s one Major too many.

Look, Major, it’d be nice if you told your men not to bother the farmers anymore.

It ain’t nice to hurt peaceful people like that.

Now, if your men keep it up, I’m gonna have to get ’em where it hurts.

You sure about that? Positive.

Ahh, ahh, ahh, oh!

One store destroyed, three heads split like overripe melons, one man wounded, and one castrated, all in two hours.

Just two hours I left you alone-— two hours.

Well, you asked me to give you a hand.

Not like that, beetle brain!

If you’d only seen those girls’ eyes…

They looked like two frightened fawns.

Two frightened fawns- they were probably two sluts lookin’ for customers.

Hey, where are you goin’? To the fawns.

No, you’re comin’ with me. Where?

Home to get your rags and leave.

Well, thank you, Sheriff. You’re welcome.

This was a quiet town before you came…

Disgusting town, but quiet.

Are you tellin’ me?

Sheriff, what are we gonna do about his prisoners?

Do we hang ’em, or do we throw ’em out?

I quit. I’m not gonna work for them no more.

Ahh, throw ’em out, all of ’em, including that Mexican jumping bean.

Oh, come on, Bambino, no sense holding a grudge.

Don’t call me Bambino. Want me to call ya Sheriff?

Don’t call me at all, not even if you’re drownin’.

Hey, with what authority are you throwin’ me out of town?

Authority of the law.

I wouldn’t talk about the law if I were you.

What’s that supposed to mean?

Well, uh, remember, you’re not a real sheriff, just a common horse thief, and not a very good one at that.

Evening, Sheriff. Hey, keep quiet.

So?

I’m stayin’, and with this pinned on.

And a dollar a day plus meals.

That sounds like blackmail. Yeah, it does.

All right, you stool pigeon.

But if you start one more mess, you’d better disappear.

The deputy sleeps in the office.

Hi, there, Sheriff. Shut up.

Hey, Sheriff… oh, it’s you.

Out for trouble again, I see. Oh, I’m a peaceful man.

Where ya goin’?

The saloon, just a little nip before goin’ to bed.

Like to believe that. How about it?

Have one on me. Only one?

Well, forget it, then. Forget it, he”.

Well, looks like the deputy sheriff is layin’ low tonight, huh?

First chance I get, I’ll fix him for good.

Yeah.

That dirty son of an old- Don’t try it.

He’s quicker than a rattlesnake.

Don’t like the comparison, but your friend’s got a point.

Don’t try it.

Let’s get outta here.

Never a night somethin’ doesn’t happen.

I don’t think I like that.

What did you say about my old lady?

You’ re “CNN to ska“ a fight.

I asked you a question. What did you say about my old lady? You heard it.

Well, say it again. Don’t be afraid.

Afraid of you?

Huh?

Afraid you got more cheek than brain.

Hey, Sheriff, wake up!

Sheriff! Sheriff, wake up!

Open in the name of the law!

It’s me, Jonathan!

Oh!

You better get your hide over to the saloon right away!

What’s happening now? Your brother is over there.

Huh? They killed him?

Well, he was still standing when I left.

But they’ll make a sieve out of him if you don’t hurry!

Yeah.

Seven of us, Deputy, and you’re only holdin’ six bullets in your gun.

Now, I don’t know if I make myself clear.

Better pay your bar bill now.

Don’t wanna leave any debts behind.

Now, I don’t know if I made myself clear.

Hurry, Sheriff. Yeah, yeah.

What’s goin’ on here?

They offended the law.

Law?

Yes.

They said I was a son of an old…

That is serious.

How are we gonna settle that, boys?

If you didn’t care to hide behind that piece of tin, we could settle this among men.

Aren’t you gonna take it off?

They are only nine.

Jonathan! Ahh!

Take the guns.

Here you go.

Here.

Close the door.

Lock it!

You gonna handle it alone?

I just woke up. You take your share.

Wasn’t a very bright idea, my friend.

Get him. Get him.

Stop it.

Push him. Oh!

Hey, let me-let me go.

Oh!

No.

Can I go to bed, or you got somethin’ else planned for tonight?

Well, I really came for a drink.

I’m sorry, but I couldn’t let them call ma an old- But it’s true.

Yeah, but she ain’t that old.

Ain’t you got no ambition in life?

Do somethin’. Rustle cattle, hold up a stagecoach, or play cards, or somethin’.

Once, you were a good card shark, but do somethin’.

Who’s got the time? I’m already busy doin’ nothin’.

Who are they?

They’re the farmers the Major wants out.

How come they’re not armed? Oh, it’s part of their religion.

They don’t believe in violence. Huh?

Oh, it’s somethin’ like that.

Well, how do they manage with the Major after ’em?

Oh, with some prayers and broken bones.

Welcome, brothers!

Hey, who told him we were brothers?

Hmm? Not me.

It is the Lord that sends you!

Truth is, we was just passin’ by!

Then, come! Come join us, brothers!

Get off your horses and rest a while.

It was good of you to come.

We are truly indebted to you for having aided our sisters, Sarah and Judith.

They were innocent doves surrounded by evil, but the Lord heard their prayers and sent you to answer them.

Yeah, it was approximately like that.

Sure is peaceful around here.

Just like paradise.

And it is. For that reason, we wouldn’t want the Major to contaminate it.

You’re right.

You would honor us if you would share our meager meal with us.

Wanna share?

Come.

Wash your hands first. Right.

Your guns, brothers. What?

It is best not to sit at the Lord’s table with symbols of violence.

Thank you, brother. Don’t take ’em far away.

Let us pray.

Dear Lord, we are grateful to you for these thy gifts, which we are about to receive through your infinite goodness.

And, Lord, we ask you to bless and protect our brethren who are not with us at this time.

Amen. Amen.

Amen.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, pass the bread down this way.

Well, look at that.

Oh.

Yahoo!

All the children and sisters leave, quickly.

I beg you to forgive their rudeness.

They’re like misguided children who know not what they do.

Hey!

Brother Tobias! My gringo.

We were passing by when I say to my men, “why don’t we go to pay a visit to my friend, Tobias?”

Right? Right.

If you care to join us.

No, don’t insist, brother.

I don’t like to take advantage of your hospitality every day.

Thank you, brother Mezcal, but you’re always welcome to share our table.

Ahh, Si, well, then we’ll take advantage.

Hombre!

Why don’t you remind me to take off my holster?

Don’t you know brother Tobias doesn’t like to see guns at his table?

Well, now you know. Your guns, brothers.

How about the knife? Here.

Thank you, brother. Here’s another.

Bring the wine! Si, Señor.

Quiet, everybody. Now, I make a toast to brother Tobias.

I said wine, not water.

Where’s the wine? I’m sorry, brother.

It’s against- Where’s the wine?!

Where’s the wine?

Get them in line! Vamonos, cabron!

You, too! Everybody get in line.

You’re too slow! Arriba!

Not you, stupid.

You no drink wine, eh?

All right, you don’t drink wine, but you make love, no?

No? Cabron!

Wait, brother, wait, please.

You are not my brother no more!

I think this one make love.

Bueno, the other side now.

How dare you hit one of my brothers?

Ask forgiveness. Forgiveness, please.

Hey, where are you going? Turn the other cheek.

This one is new to me. He’s very pretty.

Like this. You, give me room.

Hit him.

Me? Hmm.

We go away now, huh?

Brother, I tried to warn you that my two guests here belong to another belief.

They rigidly observe the law of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.

I’d say that you forgive them and return some other time.

Si, Si.

I kill him, gringo. Bueno, bueno, patron.

I swear… Mezcal don’t forget this!

Yeah, I can believe it.

Hee-yah! Hah!

Brother Tobias, that was so brave.

Are they really gone?

Now, you can help yourselves. You have their guns.

If Mezcal comes back, one bullet in the fire will change his mind.

The Lord giveth life and the Lord taketh.

Our weapons are faith and love.

Well spoken, brother Tobias.

Only love shall combat evil.

It is the sacred word.

“From my body, you shall have the heat to warm your blood.”

“And from my breast, drink the nectar to quench thy thirst.

“And from my lips, “you shall hear only words of love for the Lord.”

Thus spake Ezekiel.

es, forever.

I want to forget the past. Hmm?

Swear on our old lady.

May she become an honest woman if I’m tellin’ a lie.

All right, it’s a deal.

I’ll help you, but then we go separate ways, or I’ll make sure you really forget the past.

Thanks. You won’t be sorry. Yeah.

Uh, listen, about taking care of the Major.

I was thinkin’. You don’t have to think!

I’ll do the thinkin’! Exactly what I was thinking.

Idiot!

Oh, that is the very nice Major.

He’s got a lot of dinero, muchachos.

Bienvenido.